Flat Tire

Posted October 9th, 2009 by sara

On my way home last night I noticed a strange noise coming from the car. I was in the left lane so I turned as soon as I could. Unfortunately I picked a pretty dark neighborhood, but I felt I needed to stop the car as soon as possible. My tire was all the way flat. Luckily (or blessedly) I did not have a blow out or anything major on the freeway. I had driven Elijah to his practice over 10 miles away and we were on our way home. I had all 3 boys with me.

So I did what any true feminist would do. I called my husband and requested a rescue. He asked me silly questions like did I have all the parts I needed to change the tire in my car. I didn't know the answer that is why I called him. He was initially thinking of going home and grabbing the air compressor, but I was pretty certain the tire wouldn't hold air since it was all the way flat. I was amazed at how quickly he got there. We all scrambled out of the car and proceeded to watch Jared change the tire. I told Elijah that in a few years he would learn how to change the tire and I would ask him to do it. He thinks that is pretty exciting.

I am blessed to have married such a gentleman that he wouldn't insist on me learning how to change my own tire. I really appreciate how after a long day of work he didn't hesitate when we needed him.

The kids and I are enjoying Fall Break. We have been to the park, the library, the doctor's office, McDonald's (during Elijah's practice). We didn't eat at McDonald's but we did enjoy some Hi-C oranges while Maxwell and Xander played.

Xander isn't playing baseball anymore this season. We had some philosophical differences with the coach. Basically we put our kids in sports to learn and to have fun. Any coach that is focusing on winning at this age isn't teaching the skills kids need to actually learn the game or to win as they get older and it gets more competitive.

Jared let the coach know ahead of time that Xander wouldn't be at the game on one of the Summative nights. The team scheduled a practice at the game and didn't let us know about it ahead of time. The coach blew it off like it was no big deal.

The coach also decided to have the kids focus learning one or two positions only and only play at those positions for the remainder of the season. He had relegated Xander to the outfield. Each of the outfield kids only get to play outfield according to this genius plan whereas each of the infield kids get 2 infield positions. Every league we had the kids in before had an infield/outfield rule. All kids had an inning of playing infield before anyone could repeat playing outfield.

The ball never makes it to the outfield. If it rolls to the outfield he might get to touch the ball but probably not since their outfield is pretty shallow and any rolling ball usually has an infielder chasing it. No kids, especially 7 and 8 year olds, want to play in the outfield. It isn't fun nor do you learn. This whole season he only had the ball come to him once. I don't know whether he was playing infield or outfield at the time.

Jared informed the coach we had an issue with this and the coach defended his position. I had asked Jared to handle it because reading the initial email left the mama bear in me wanting to kick some butt.

Xander wasn't having fun this season anyway but we felt he was learning important life lessons. He is so used to being good at everything he does. He hadn't successfully hit off the machine at the games yet although he did foul a few. He wasn't happy but we thought he should keep trying. Oh well.

I only got to go to one of Xander's games in its entirety. That is sad to me. At that game I witnessed a set of parents yelling at their 7 or 8 year old for his baseball failures during the game. Awesome, just awesome. Jared said this same dad also took time during a game to come out to the field and express his disappointment in the umpire to the umpire. I would have loved to see this. On the way to Elijah's game I witnessed a dad yelling at his son about dropping the ball and losing the game for his team. Some parents are awesomely smart. They think you can berate your kids into being professional athletes.

You don't get to decide what your kids are talented in and you definitely don't get to choose whether they are driven enough to become professionals, experts, or to get scholarships. This is true for sports, academics, music, art, everything. All you can do as a parent is support them, love them, and give them as many opportunities as you can realistically provide. Parents should focus on life lessons instead of some specifically defined version of success or "good enough." We can't raise Nobel Prize winners if that is what our focus is. That's my rant.

I wish I could say that I raised him right...

On October 29th, 2009 Jean Landon (not verified) says:

Even as a youth, Jared has always been thoughtful like that. He took good care of me and his sisters; even now, he still tries to take good care of us. Sara, you definitely got a keeper (not that I am prejudiced).

I feel bad that Xander didn't have a good experience in baseball. I agree with Wendy's comments. What is wrong with these people. I think some of the dads are living vicariously through their kids. Parents should support and encourage their kids in all they do, whether it is sports or something else. It makes for better confidence and self-esteem in the kids; and in the long run, it makes for a better relationship between parents and child.

I hope Xander has a better experience next time. We love him (and all the rest of you, too). Mom (aka Grandma)

There is nothing as

On October 10th, 2009 Mom J (not verified) says:

There is nothing as wonderful as a good man!!!! Way to go Jared! I am grateful the two of you have your heads on straight when it comes to the sports thing. Sports can be such a great opportunity for kids but adults can really screw things up sometimes. It is amazing you are writing about 6 and 7 year olds. Those poor kids will be burned out before they are teenagers. What is wrong with people?

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